


be still my love

by cinderlily



Category: Glee
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2011-01-01
Updated: 2011-01-01
Packaged: 2017-10-14 07:40:43
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,678
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/146950
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/cinderlily/pseuds/cinderlily
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>"Kurt was late. Of COURSE he was late, as he was <i>never</i> late and the most important moment of his life was going down and he was five … almost <i>ten</i> minutes late." And Stella was born. ♥</p>
            </blockquote>





	be still my love

**Author's Note:**

> First of all I have to thank [](http://carolinecrane.livejournal.com/profile)[**carolinecrane**](http://carolinecrane.livejournal.com/) for taking take of me and making sure that you are not forced to read my mush. :) Part of the [DIWWCF](http://archiveofourown.org/collections/down_is_where_we_came_from/works) verse, most specifically between [starstruck](http://cinderlily.livejournal.com/726352.html#cutid1) and [heartstrings that play soft and low](http://cinderlily.livejournal.com/736166.html?view=4880550#t4880550)

Kurt was late. Of COURSE he was late, as he was _never_ late and the most important moment of his life was going down and he was five … almost _ten_ minutes late. His heart was beating at an unhealthy rate, granted he was headed to a hospital but he wasn’t going into any room other than the room that gave him something important. Some _one_ important.

He put his BlueTooth in his ear for the fifth time in the span of ten minutes and said ‘Call Noah’. It rang exactly once.

“Where the hell are you?”

“Is she here yet?”

“How am I supposed to know? I’m stuck in this like little waiting room from hell that doesn’t even have a TV and there is just some chick waiting in the corner and _you’re not here_.”

Kurt took a corner at maybe a hair faster than he should have but it brought into view the towering hospital. “I’ll be there in ten, maybe fifteen. Sorry. Just … sorry.”

He heard Puck hang up before he had to and hoped the elation of a new baby would make any lingering anger dissipate. Heck, he was angry with himself. He didn’t want to go in that day; he’d mostly been staying at home for three solid days but all he had to do was go in for three hours to check the new fabric stock, and of course that was when everything went down.  It took him almost an hour and twenty minutes to get across LA. He was just happy it wasn’t heavy traffic.

He got to the garage and weaved back and forth until he was on the third floor, how was the hospital THAT busy? He parked his car at an angle that was even rude by LA standards but he didn’t care. He had a mission.

There were priorities.

He took the stairs two by two, not entirely easy in his brand new shoes, and then sprinted across the pavement. A car honked behind him, telling him that maybe he wasn’t looking where he was going.

When he walked up to the help desk he was winded enough that one of the kind older gentlemen smiled. “New father?”

Kurt nodded and ran in the direction he was pointed, though the words echoed loudly in his brain. He made it through one set of doors before he heard Puck’s voice call him.

“KURT!”

Kurt turned towards him and was so relieved he almost cried. Puck pulled him in for a hug. “Sorry, sorry, so so so so sorry.” He hummed it into Puck’s collarbone but Puck didn’t seem to care, he took him by the hand and landed them somehow in two seats next to each other with minimal damage.

“Did you call your mom?” Kurt asked after a few minutes, already knowing the answer.

Puck picked up his phone and showed the flight confirmations for not only his mom but Sarah, and Kurt’s family as well. It was kind of sweet and a mixture of completely intimidating at the same time. He pushed the phone away.

“What about Mercedes?”

Puck nodded, all but rolling his eyes. “I texted the important people. It isn’t like she’s… here or not. I don’t know. I swear, the nurses they send out here should work for the CIA. They tell you _nothing_.”

“But no news isn’t bad news?” Kurt asked with a shake in his voice.

Puck nodded his head, which should comfort Kurt but it gave him none. He stared at the door that Puck pointed out was ‘the’ door. It didn’t move, even with all the willing that Kurt could manage.

They held hands and he looked around. The room was drab, colorless, and, as Puck had pointed out, it had no TV at all. Which he supposed was just as well, he couldn’t focus if he tried. The woman in the corner smiled, which was an odd thing for Kurt to notice but it was something that calmed him down, just a little.  She had long brown hair and a kind smile and looked… sad around the edges, but the smile made his stomach relax.

After a while Puck kind of broke and seemed to want to burst at all of his seams. “How long does this stuff take?”

“Puck,” Kurt murmured; there was someone else in the room.

The lady in the corner answered him. “The first baby can come at any time. Take a while or be instantaneous. I swear, my son took his sweet time when it came to making his appearance. My daughter took four hours.”

Kurt checked his phone. He was just about at his wit’s end and it had only been six hours since he got the phone call. He put it back in his pocket and started to go through the mental checklist of what they needed. They had had the firemen put in their baby seat, baby proofed the house, bought two different kinds of baby monitors in case they preferred the other. The sheer amount of clothing for this kid was just out of control.

“Did we clean the bottles?” Kurt asked, suddenly panicked that they’d get home to find a thousand dirty bottles and one hungry baby. Puck turned to him and rolled his eyes.

“Clean. But they send you home with some if you aren’t breast feeding.”

Kurt puzzled. “How do you know that?”

Puck picked up the pamphlet that read like a bad sixties infomercial.

“ _If for some reason you are unable to breast feed, a few bottles with vetted breast milk will be sent home along with the baby._ ”

“I don’t know about you.” Puck leaned in close. “But I’ve got none to share. I’ve talked to the nurse on staff and she already knows.”

Kurt felt that weirdly warm feeling in his chest grow outwards and find his feet. In their pantry there were about four different types of baby formulas. He might have gone a little overboard when he saw all of the choices, but he was nervous at the time so he couldn’t blame himself. He might’ve also gone a bit overboard with diapers, but they were having a sale and all he kept thinking was that if he stocked up now there wouldn’t be midnight rushes, right?

After what felt like forever the door opened and a nurse walked out with a clipboard.

“Hummel, Puckerman and Silver?”

The three people in the room stood up like eager rabbits, begging for any news. Kurt held Puck’s hand so tightly he knew it had to be bad for circulation on both parts, but to his credit, Puck didn’t flinch.

“Gentleman, I will lead you to a private room. Ms. Silver, your son is asking for you.”

Kurt caught sight of Ms. Silver’s tired look and for a split second he knew, without a doubt, that she was related to their baby. It was a comfort of sorts to know that the biological parents weren’t alone and that they had a base of family.

But the moment they were taken into a small room with two chairs and a baby’s crib in it, the other moment was gone. It was the room where he would meet his daughter. He linked his hand with Puck’s and found that both were shaking to the point of almost of jittering out of contact. A new nurse came in with two hideous pieces of green in her arms.

“Haute couture,” Kurt rolled his eyes. “Thanks.”

Puck looked over at him with a laugh. “I’m sorry paper gowns don’t meet your standards. Now stop complaining and get these on.”

“Why I never.” Kurt fanned his face in the style of a Victorian lady, all the while obliging. “Usually men have to take me on a couple dates before they can get me to do that for them.”

“Not what I heard,” Puck said, predatorily. Then he laughed. “Put it on over them.”

Kurt tied the final knot in the back of his gown and turned an evil glare towards his husband. “You know this is where our _daughter_ is coming to. “

That silenced the both of them, the sheer truth of the moment settling on both of their shoulders. He knew he should probably sit down and try and relax. He’d heard that babies could sense tension and he had never once been this tense in his life.

As if by silent agreement, he and Puck started to pace the small space. They both took care not to bump into one another but there was the occasional brush of skin that just seemed to set them off. Static electricity or just nervous energy made them move faster.

It felt like an eternity before the door opened, the same nurse from before wheeling in the smallest little crib that Kurt had ever seen.  In the center was a tiny pink blanket wrapped around…

“It’s a girl,” Kurt exhaled. Like they hadn’t known since four months. She was so pink she almost matched the blanket and she was fast asleep. Kurt turned to find Puck was closer to the crib than he was, pointer finger pressed into her open palm. She barely seemed to notice as Puck brushed back and forth.

“She isn’t just a girl, she’s our girl.” Puck broke his staring contest with the sleeping baby to look at Kurt. “Our girl.”

A lump settled in the base of Kurt’s throat and he couldn’t get himself to swallow around it.

The nurse interrupted the both of them. “She was born at 12:16 this afternoon. She is perfect and has already been fed once, so expect screaming in a few hours. Other than that, we’ll be here if you need us. I’m Bre. The Doc should be in in a few minutes to go over the finer details.”

In the more ridiculous part of his brain it sounded just like a run down his dad would give on a car. ‘Fine condition. Look at the starter. It’s going to need its oil changed sooner rather than later.’

But maybe that was just the shock settling in, because he and Puck were both frozen, Kurt a few inches back and Puck with his hand on the sleeping baby’s palm. _Their_ sleeping baby’s palm. Over the past few months it’d hit him in slow lapping waves of panic but this felt like a tsunami was about to close in. He looked down at the baby and saw… perfection. A little bit of a smooshed nose he figured she would grow out of … but. Perfection.

The knowledge that she now depended on him -- on _them_ \-- was beyond overwhelming. Kurt and Puck exchanged a look that debated if they should pick her up or wait for her to wake up. Kurt was definitely in the camp of waiting but it looked like Puck was itching to pick her up. When he reached out Kurt’s heart jumped into his throat for just a moment before he relaxed at her silence.

Puck backed up into a chair, surprisingly smoothly and sat down like he might hit a landmine. Kurt couldn’t take it any longer, so he sat in the chair beside Puck.

She had fluffy dark hair, thick in a way he hadn’t actually expected. He tentatively ran his fingers along the top of her head and marveled. “It’s so thick.”

“Yeah, I thought these things came out bald,” Puck teased, giving Kurt a wink. “Wanna send her back?”

Even the thought made his stomach tense but he shrugged. “Don’t you think that might be more trouble than it’s worth? I mean. We have to wait and you know the service in this place has been less than stellar. Nine months’ wait?”

“So, we’ll keep her?” Puck looked at him and the smile he gave Kurt made his entire body warm at once.

Kurt leaned down and kissed the top of her head, inhaling the antiseptic hospital smell mixed with baby soap.

They sat like that for a while until Puck decided he ‘needed to stretch’ and before he actually had time to register it Kurt was holding a blanket covering a baby. His back went completely ramrod straight and he leveled a glare at Puck that could make ice melt.

“What if I drop her?” he whispered through gritted teeth.

Puck smiled. “She’s ours now. Pretty sure I was dropped once or twice.”

“Not. Encouraging.”

He stared down and then back up but then back down. It really was nice at this angle. He went about memorizing her face, the chunky cheeks and the scrunched up baby fingers just below her neck. He shifted some of his weight and took one of her hands into his own. He marveled at her tiny fingernails. He didn’t even know they could be that small.

The door opened and he just stopped himself from jumping completely out of his skin, most likely dropping the baby or at least making her cry which was the last thing he wanted at the moment. The doctor was a nice looking middle-aged man, gray at the temples but he still couldn’t be that much older than them. He almost reminded Kurt of Will, which was a connection he didn’t need to make right then.

“Good afternoon, I’m Dr. Javier, you are the Hummel-Puckermans?” He offered a hand to Puck, and then to Kurt who had to jostle the baby one handed. He laughed. “Get used to that.”

“Nice to meet you.” Kurt blushed. “Will do.”

“And we’ve met before, but only for a minute.” Dr. Javier leaned over and put a finger in Stella’s palm to mock shaking hands. “And who are you?”

It startled Kurt when after a minute the doctor looked at him. For a split second he thought, ‘How should I know?’

Puck saved them by responding for them, somehow in the other chair again. “Her name is Estella Rose.”

“Pretty name.” The doctor smiled. “Now how about I fill in the details?”

*

In what Kurt felt like was the aftermath of the doctor’s speech, Kurt and Puck sat dead still in the chairs. Stella had woken up, thankfully when the doctor was in the room and he showed them where to change her and only slightly laughed when Kurt tried to do it – Puck was always better in the class they took.

He got that Dr. Javier was trying to be encouraging, but almost everything that was scary left Kurt more and more horrified. He was supposed to monitor intake and output of water to make sure she wasn’t dehydrated? She might turn _YELLOW_? He wasn’t even able to think about the words the doctor used about her sleeping habits. His entire body just shuddered.

He’d read all the books, knew all the basic facts but to hear it said about the actual baby in his hands made him want to scream – albeit quietly, so as not to wake her up.

At least Puck was there beside him and looked just as petrified, with maybe a little annoyed tinge to it, but that was Puck standard.

“So,” Puck said, his voice not quite shaking. “That was empowering.”

“Can we hire someone? Like a nurse? To just follow us.”

Puck glared at him. “I think we can manage this.”

Before he could think of anything smart to stay there was another knock on the door and in the back of his head all he could think was, ‘Oh Great, Dr. Doom.’

“Mr. Hummel-Puckerman?” Both of them started to say yes and the nurse blushed. “Um. There’s a Hummel family that is quite vocal about seeing you.”

Puck chuckled. “Oh that’s all you.”

“Let them in,” Kurt said, with just a bit of hesitation. “You know _you_ married m—“

The end was cut off by Carole’s voice giddily coming through the slightly open door. “I have a grandbaby!”

In another situation Kurt would flinch, but right then it was the oddly the most comforting noise he could think of.


End file.
